Monday, July 18, 2011

Date Night Gone Wrong by Shana Jay

A friend of mine called me in utter disgust because she decided to take a chance and get back on the dating scene.  She told me she met this guy at a new spot here in Memphis and because it was a laid back, grown folk’s atmosphere she gave him her number. She told me the conversation over the phone was great and that she couldn’t wait to go out with him.  They made plans to go out and eat at his favorite restaurant which was good since she had never been.
She told me that she liked the fact that he wasn’t cheap by any means and I laughed because most men really are in this day and time. She said the conversation was going well until she mentioned church. He began to go on and on about how preachers are nothing but “Pimps in the Pulpit” and that he doesn’t go to church because of that fact.  She told me how he was open about the fact that he was well established. He was in his final stages of graduating with his Doctorate in Education in a few weeks and how was also planning to open a Charter School.
            While eating he revealed that he was a principal at a well known middle school but that he got into some trouble that landed him in jail and a spot on the news. This was a 2nd red flag but she allowed him to tell his side of the story since he was wiling to share. He talked about how he was divorced and also had a 4 yr old son.  She expressed how the date was still going smooth just a little turbulence now and then.
            After dinner he decided that he wanted her to go out for more drinks then a movie.  He wanted her to drop her car off at his home then they could ride together in his vehicle.  My friend and I are very uncomfortable about getting in cars with men we are just meeting and trying to get to know simply because people are crazy. She told me that he could tell she was uneasy about the whole idea but he pushed the fact that he wouldn’t harm her in any way.
 So she went ahead with his plan got in the car with him and headed to the bar. She said after a few drinks her date (the guy) began to get a little too loose.   The topic of discussion was his ex wife and how she had the cookie cutter mentality in the bedroom. He asked her if she was open minded to different experiences. Now listening to her I was thinking oh wow is this really a first date discussion. She told him that she was open to different things then the question about inviting others into the bedroom surfaced. I just laughed and shook my head.
She said that he also wanted her to know that he was an overall champ when it came down to oral sex.  He also told her that she could lay everything down on the table since he was being so open. She told him that wasn’t appropriate because dating is getting to know someone gradually it’s a process. Frankly you don’t lay all your business out on the table because you really don’t know what type of individual you are dealing in my opinion.
She said he seemed to get agitated that she wasn’t as open as he was. The next venture was to the movies. She said all he wanted to do was fondle and kiss on her and because she wasn’t receptive he got agitated again. He dozed off in the movie at times and lightly snored and smacked his lips in his sleep. She told me that if she had driven her car she would have excused herself and left with without him knowing. When the movie was over he took her back to his place to get her car. Of course he asked her to come up for a night cap and when she declined he got upset again.
In conclusion, it seems that men have no clue about how to date/court anymore. I can only blame the loose desperate women who have just been way to easy. Whatever happened to getting to know a person and going out more than one time without expecting sex or lip and mouth service just because of who you are or what you have?  Let me just get straight to the point it’s really hard to meet a person with substance and standards. Every body seems to want a quick fix rushing the process instead of investigating or try to see if the party involved has any functioning brain cells for that matter.   I just hope this so called dating game gets better because from my experience and others its shot to hell.
Shana Jay


  1. Grown and sexy night spots actually mean grown and sex Y are u there for anything else spots. If you fish in a polluted river, you're going to catch polluted fish. He's probably blogging the same experience and wondering what's up with her. The formula is easy, want a church person, meet em at church. Want a poetry person, go to open mic. Want a stripper, go to the strip club like he probably did after he was done with your friend. Don't pick up shiny pennies expecting them to have gold on the inside. It's not going to happen. Want gold? Go to where gold is being sold, just be prepared to pay the real cost, the stuff on sale is probably fake.

  2. Wow! Now that was deep.

  3. So true, I agree with you one hundred percent!
    Im just lucky i found one of the good ones. He may not go to church but he ticks all the other boxes:)