Thursday, December 29, 2011

"A Piece of My Heart Vol 2: The Unedited Truth"


Are you ready for the truth???? "A Piece of My Heart Vol.2: The Unedited Truth.....Pre-Orders available 01/01/2012 ($12.99 free shipping limited time) ORDER YOUR COPY BY VISITING www.shanajay.com and visit the e-store!!!



Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Is It Really Hating???? By Shana Jay

I always hear the term “Hating” being used incorrectly and under the wrong circumstances. First lets define what “Hating” is..(Of course I had to venture to the urban dictionary.)  Hating: When one puts down the success or fortune of others due to jealousy. Ex: She is “hating” on me because I won the lottery and she didn’t. Lets also define “Throwing Salt” this means to intentionally degrade somebody. Now throwing salt got its name because of the stinging feeling one gets if somebody where to put salt on an open wound.  The effects of “throwing salt” at a person are usually the same, but the stinging is on an emotional level.
Now lets go to class and do some critical thinking for a minute ….the question that I want to raise is although it may seem like one is hating or throwing salt is it considered hating or throwing salt if what is being said merely the truth?  The reason I say this is because people use both terms so loosely yet they haven’t realized what constructive criticism really is. Constructive criticism is criticism kindly meant that has a goal of improving some area of another person’s life or work. 
The issue with constructive criticism is that most people are not all that receptive to it.  In some cases I am guilty about this as well because it may not be the day for me to hear about myself. What I have realized is that people who really care about me are quick to correct (rebuke) my actions if they are inappropriate and in the same sense I therefore return the favor out of love not to intentionally hurt or bruise egos.
The lesson today is there are real haters/salt throwers out here but what one has to realize that if what is being said is the truth and causes internal conviction then one may want to evaluate those issues. A good friend of mine made a valid point and I will leave you all with this: “If people are bringing you the same issue or if situations are happening repeatedly to you …are you reflecting back to see are the things being said true?  What portion of this will you own or take responsibility for?   Class dismissed.

XOXO
Shana Jay

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

When Your Life Was Low (The Lyrics Say It All)

"When Your Life Was Low"

Always remember my friend,
the world will change again.
And you may have to come back
through everywhere you've been.

When your life was low,
you had nowhere to go.
People turned their backs on you,
and everybody said that you were through.

I took you in, made you strong again
put you back together.
Out of all the dreams you left along the way,
you left me shining.

Now you're doing well
from stories I hear tell.
You own the world again.
Everyone's your friend.

Although I never hear from you,
still it's nice to know
you used to love me so,
when your life was low.

I took you in. I made you strong again.
I put you back together.
Out of all the dreams you left along the way,
you left me shining

Now you're doing well
from stories I hear tell.
You own the world again.
Everyone's your friend.

Although I never hear from you,
still it's nice to know
you used to love me so,
you used to love me so,
when your life was low.

But always remember my friend,
the world will change again.
And you may have to come back
through everywhere you've been.
The world will change again.

you used to love me so,
when your life was low.

you used to love me so,
when your life was low.

you used to love me so,
when your life was low.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

A Man of Variety by Shana Jay

His words are a like a fine wine a delicacy that accelerates my heart jump starts my mental capacity I love his inner trilogy
His smile is captivating I find myself navigating towards the thing I crave for most his presence stirs my inner child
His poetic rhythm appeases me as I watch him make love to the mic
Like Vivaldi, Mozart and Beethoven his spirit is classical so eloquent as if he were the inspiration to B minor mass 22 Benedictus
When he speaks his tone is as gentle as a lamb never persuasive I just surrender to it
His lips are soft like the clouds his arms are as strong as steel
I’m honored to be apart of his life his thoughts are limitless no fabrication he just keeps it real
His ideas are remarkable he is the epitome of brilliance he paints the picture to help me see clearer into the inner depth perception of his mind
He is my muse the free spirit that infuses all of the creative aspects of me
He’s not perfect nor does he proclaim to be but he is the one who holds me up and this is my version of a man destined for excellence a man of variety

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Twitter and Facebook Abuse by Shana Jay

What is social the social networking service?
A social networking service is an online service, platform, or site that focuses on building and reflecting of social networks or social relations among people, who, for example, share interests and/or activities.
What is Trolling?
A common misuse of social networking sites such as Facebook is that it is occasionally used to emotionally abuse individuals. Such actions are often referred to as trolling. It is not rare for confrontations in the real world to be translated online.[citation needed] Trolling can occur in many different forms, such as (but not limited to) defacement of deceased person(s) tribute pages, name calling, playing online pranks on volatile individuals and controversial comments with the intention to cause anger and cause arguments. Trolling is not to be confused with cyber-bullying.

Now let’s talk about how I feel about this new found social networking abuse. Facebook and Twitter are sites to encourage promotion of entrepreneurship etc. If your business is prostitution this site is not for you. I am so sick of hearing about how wet you are, how fat it is and how someone “can get it.” I don’t want to read about your vagina monologues nor hear any of your “dick”tations about how deep you can stroke it. This is totally inappropriate and utterly disgusting. If you want to date there are social networking sites out here just for you please google black planet.com. For Facebook users and your profile pictures I want to see your face and not your ass ok…This is “FACEBOOK” not “ASSBOOK.”

Anytime type of leadership positions such as politicians, pastors, teachers, business owners, health care professionals etc. should be very careful on how they depict themselves on social networking sites. There should be a level of limitations on what you post because things can be misconstrued and taken very seriously even if you meant no harm.  I would love to share some examples with you but I may offend those who are unaware of what they doing.

Let’s talk about your representation on Facebook and Twitter and your real life once you log off. I am so sick of these add water, instant made, so deeply religious sanctified holy rollers who was there when they crucified my Lord Saints of Facebook and Twitter. Oh but I just saw you at the sports bar and grill the other day and you bought the bar out talking bout I’m in love with my bartender. See don’t be quoting all these scriptures on Facebook and Twitter and trying to give counsel about something and you are clearly not living, okay. You’re the first one in church on Sunday and the first one to make it rain at the strip club Monday night I’m just saying. Here is a better example quoting scriptures in one post and cussing someone out in the next …that’s just not right.

Lastly and I’m done ….Twitter and Facebook are neither your therapist nor your journal some things should just be kept to yourself. I read my time line and news feed and think that some of your are slightly bi-polar ….for those who have seen the Kevin Hart’s stand up his safety word is “Pineapples” and I’m adopting this term too. I’m screaming pineapples because you’re doing too much. Let’s use Twitter and Facebook for what it’s meant to be thanks here. My name is Shana Jay and I approve this message.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Season for Creative People by Shana Jay

Could you imagine a world without music, poetry, art, photography & choreography (dance)? It would be a sad, dismal, mediocre place viewed in black & white instead of multifaceted color.  Music is like a smooth glass of wine it mellows me out and helps me to convey my words like lyrics to a song. If I had to choose whether to be deaf or blind I would choose to be blind because I couldn’t fathom a day without hearing the melodious sounds of Stevie Wonder’s version of “As” or Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata.”



Music connects with poetry that’s why it flows together so well.  Poetry is the outpouring of the heart and it expresses in words what music cannot.  When I write poetry it’s a form of release to me. It’s as if the ink is nourishment satisfying the needs of an unquenchable thirst the paper so blatantly holds. “Like the Song of Solomon his love is like a scripture to me. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth; for thy love is better than wine this describes how in-depth my love is when I think of my brilliant mind.”

Art is eclectic so diverse and free when I think of all the colors of fall swirled into patterns mimicking the ripples of the ocean I get excited deep within. The oils and different textures mixed together by hand giving birth to a room that was plain and lifeless is exciting and liberating. Artwork gives a room warmth and substance. It helps creative minds to think clearer producing ideas that shoot like electric currents giving power to every fraction of the brain.

Photography captures every minuscule detail that the human eye would miss with just a click of a button.  Its been said that a picture is worth a thousand words but to capture a special moment never to be relived again is priceless.  A photo can depict any human emotion and can be compared to a time machine taking you back to the memories saved in the hard drive of the mind.  Photography is like a visual journal illustrating the memories of the past, present & future.

Choreography (dance) is by far the most creative and energetic aspect in the creative culture. To watch a ballet dancer perform with such style, elegance & grace is the epitome of artistic ability in my opinion. Choreography helps one to feel the passion in the music. It’s like sign language quietly illustrating a story being told.  It’s a beautifully crafted form of expression that everybody loves.

In conclusion, this season is the rise of the creative and highly talented era. If you have ideas step out the box and pursue your dreams the world is thirsty for artsy people such as yourself. If I can write a book of poetry based on my life experiences you can do whatever you put your mind to and succeed in it.
XOXO
Shana Jay

Saturday, October 1, 2011

The Right People at the Wrong Time by Shana Jay

Processing the hurt………
I opened up
I gave my all
Still trying to comprehend how I managed to let you in
You saw the nakedness of my soul
I was transparent with my thoughts open with my fears
Here my dear ….here it is
I took a risk or should I say a plunge
I want to run and hide
Its feels like my world is about to collide
I made myself comfortable you put my mind at ease
I knew this was too good to be true
High off you, someone exciting and new
Snatched away just as quick as you came
Heartbreaks and 808’s
What I wanted was way too much for your plate
X’s and O’s I use to love those
Questioning myself
Dissecting the truth
Analyzing my thoughts and everything else when it comes down to you
Damn I pictured a happy ending
Staring at this painting on the wall
It reminds me of the warmth I felt when I laid my head on your chest
The colors of Fall is what I see
As the days go by our love will be a distant memory
No tears just really dazed and confused
My beautiful King the man of my dreams
 My Brilliant Mind……….
“The right people at the wrong time”

Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Circle in this Ring by Shana Jay

Liberated by his love
Dedicated by the circle in this ring
Loyal to my King
Bound by the vow we made
How I feel about him will never fade
I submit to his words his articulation his diction and therefore I honor his position
He looks at me with such passion and love in his eyes
Elated that his past hurts were not the event of our demise
He begin to see that our love was his destiny
I pulled him in close to me when he desired to pull away
With my soul I cleave I walk tall in the promise I made
Love and to hold
Always confident and bold
Consuming every ounce of him
Embracing every part molding him like clay
What was torn down I helped him rebuild
Every secret told I placed it in my heart and concealed
Hand in hand I walk he guides while God leads
Expression No fabrication our love cant be duplicated
So glad the search is over my King
Our love bound by the circle
The circle in this ring

Forfeit by Shana Jay

Typing until these thoughts fall off
Listening to my heart until the beat goes soft
Holding my breath waiting for the fairy tale to end
Building the wall brick by brick meditating to Vivaldi’s violin
Skeptical about what’s unknown to me
Unsure about this strange new territory
Seems I’m being put to the test
Forced to show all of my weaknesses and my emotions are about to crest
I can’t quite digest this dose of medication that’s being administered to me
Sugar coating this bittersweet substance makes my stomach queasy
The valley of distance is persistent maybe I should take heed
Be careful and tread lightly are the words that dance in my head
Premeditated is not the ending I contemplated yet patience is the penalty
I see more than I speak of sometimes its better this way
I discern what isn’t visible to the naked eye revealing the master of disguise
 Anxiety builds quiet as a mouse recanting my appeal
Not really sure of what I believe to be true
Time reveals the concern as the four seasons build an unbearable weight
I sit back keeping track of what’s fiction and fact giving my heart time to deliberate
My mind operates on levels I can’t explain
I turn it over to God the controller of my domain
Not afraid to take risk just leery of the aftermath
Not sure if rekindling is the right path
I dig deep in my love language leaving signs along the way
My mind says you can do this
My heart says sorry I’m not ready Im afraid I don’t want to play 

Moonlight Sonata *THIS IS WHAT I WRITE 2*

Bi-Curious By Shana Jay & Co-Writer Joyce

Lets talk about being Bi-sexual. I have noticed that some people are struggling with their sexuality. On a personal note I don’t have a problem with the person per say I love them all with the love of God but I do have a problem with the lifestyle. It may sound cliché to say “I have friends who practice in homosexuality/lesbianism but I look at the heart….this is what makes me love them most.” The true problem that I have is if one is willing to part take in the lifestyle be true to who you are therefore I can acquire a level of respect for you.  I know there are people in the gay community who really don’t want to be gay/bi-sexual and they are trying very hard to walk a straight line. There are others who just enjoy what they do and I’m not mad…. do you. The problem I have is how can one proclaim to be Bi-sexual? Somewhere down the line, someone is going to fall short in the relationship. Let me go deeper ….one “sex” is going to be lacking in an area of attention because it seems that the pull will either be more towards “female” or “male” whatever the preference may be. I feel this Bi-sexual status is a cop out for just being plain selfish and greedy. Meaning, “You want your cake and ice cream then you want to eat it too” or “you just want the best of both worlds.”  If you like men then be with a man if you like women then be with a woman. It’s already hard enough in the dating game to find descent upstanding people to be considered eligible but to add the “Bi-sexual Factor” in the mix is scary. I say this because some people who practice in this lifestyle are not always on the up and up about what they like. They choose to keep this hidden because they don’t want the backlash of being criticized about how they are living. I have also found this particular lifestyle common in the church community as well. On a spiritual note God finds this lifestyle an abomination. I also understand that there are no levels of sin so I can’t cast judgment either. I know that fornication, telling lies, gambling etc are all on the same level so I can’t cast a stone because I am far from innocent in the things that I have done and still doing. Its some things I struggle with on a daily bases so I try very hard not to judge anyone. All I am saying is if your going to live the lifestyle choose a side and quit pretending cause your not fooling anyone but yourself. 
XOXO
Shana Jay
Is It Easy to Choose Sides?  (Joyce’s Opinion)
     Elijah went before the people and said, "How long will
     you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow
     him; but if Baal is God, follow him." (Kings 18:21)   
                                                                                    
It is not my position to pass moral judgment on anyone; I’m just trying to understand. Contrary to what I believed, there are NO limits set as to how attracted a bisexual person has to feel towards either gender and most actually DON’T feel equally attracted to both genders. According to research and interviews, there aren’t really any 50/50 bi-sexuals.
Now I’m sure all of you are asking, “What does Kings 18:21 have to do with bi-sexuality?” The answer is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I am not comparing bisexuality to what God you choose to serve, nor am I suggesting that bisexuality is wrong, that’s not for me to decide. However, this verse has everything to do with making a choice.  The reason we’re in this forum today is to answer the question; Why not make a choice. Why straddle the fence? Pick a side and join the team.  If in fact most bisexuals aren’t equally attracted to both sexes, why doesn’t one just choose the one they’re most attracted to? It seems simple enough right?
            I asked this question to several people both bi-sexual and heterosexual, and the consensus seemed to be that you may be emotionally attracted to one and more physically attracted to the other. Ok, I can understand that also. But why not find that commonality in one person? Eventually you’ll have to make a choice. You can’t have it both ways because you’ll be cheating someone out of what they truly deserve.
      This is clearly a complex subject and I’m sure we won’t come to any conclusions or find any concrete answers in this blog.  So perhaps bisexuals are greedy, perhaps they’re confused, I don’t know. Can someone help me to understand why you can’t or won’t choose a side?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Can You Love Me By Shana Jay

Can you love me flaws and all
When I show you the real me
The one with discrepancies, insecurities, & characteristics that isn’t so angelic or heavenly?
Can you love me when I make mistakes?
Will you pull me close or will my imperfections be too much for your plate
Can you love me when times get hard?
When I show you my baggage and scars will things begin to fall apart?
Exposed and transparent like the clear shades of spring water
Hiding behind this image of a strong black woman in time will falter
Can you love me when I’m at my weakest point when I don’t have the ability to see positively?
Will you embrace the side that reacts out of fear and anger causing me to act uncontrollably?
Can you love me when I reveal the not-so- good, bad and terribly ugly?
When my self esteem is low will you be there to build me up or will you walk away because the realness of me is too much?
Can
Can you
Can you love
Can you love every
Can you love every part
Can you love every part of
ME

Beyoncé - 1+1 Veryyyyy Interesting Video ........


Sunday, August 28, 2011

My Man By Shana Jay

My man is the truth and I’m so grateful that I have Him or does He have me?  I’m talking about Jesus the one who is ever so faithful and never leaves me. He motivates me completely.  My shining star, my El Shaddi, I’m in love with the sweet baby Jesus on high. He puts a smile on my face and He knows what I like. He is the best part of waking up sending me special delivery’s of bright sunny days. He has the birds to sing our song about His saving Grace and I’m so in love with this man.
When I am down He blesses me with a kaleidoscope of colors the promise of the rainbow. Even though I’m far from perfect He embraces me with the gentleness of the breeze because he delights in me whole heartedly. When I was down to my last dime my man stepped in providing me with everything I need. All He asks is to trust in Him and indeed I do.
There is no intimacy like the Agape love that we share. With this relationship He allows me to birth new things like this beautiful gift that I share with the world.  The psalms of David pour out of my belly so refreshing and new. He inspires me to strive giving me the push I need to reach my greatest potential. I’m in love with this man He has my heart. I would be honored to wash His feet with my tears of gratitude drying them with haste. I give Him the fruit of my lips and I will forever praise Him with my hands I love Him so ….I’m talking about my Man!
In conclusion, I’m loving on Him the one who loves me most. Jesus is my everything, my morning, noon & night.  I cleave to Him as I watch our love take flight.

XOXO
Shana Jay

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Embracing the Art of Silence and Discipline By Shana Jay

Sometimes it’s best to be silent because your thoughts maybe more than what others can handle.  If I am in the silent mode I am merely observing and also trying to discipline myself from crucifying others with my tongue.  What I am also working on while in silence is body language although I may not be saying a mumbling word my eyes are telling another story.  For a person like me who wears all of my emotions on my sleeve the process of correcting this behavior is very hard at times. 
I see and hear so much that I tend to react instead of sitting back and taking it all in.  My response to some situations and trying to hold back is like dealing with a severe case of Tourette syndrome. I would just shoot off and deal with the consequences of my actions later.  As I take my self improvement one day at a time I’m learning to listen for God’s voice awaiting His instruction.  If I handled people the way they have handled me I would certainly be on the news not locally, but nationwide CNN bound, a straight up Nancy Grace exclusive. 
Another wise technique that I am learning to enforce in my daily walk is to think before I speak. Just because it pops up in my head doesn’t mean it needs to be said. I want my words/advice to be more helpful than harmful. To be honest if I really said what was on my mind I would hurt a lot of feelings not intentionally but just speaking the truth.  I have been placed in a position where if I allow my flesh to control my emotions I will miss out on my blessings.
 Now please don’t get it twisted this is a day by day process. I never said that I was perfect in anyway I am more so on the “God aint threw with me yet creed” The old “I wish a ninja would” mindset may show itself from time to time.  I’m sweet as apple pie but I will not allow people to take my kindness for weakness.  While in silence I ask that God would give me wisdom on how to handle issues in a Godly manner so that when I profess to be a Christian people won’t give me the side eye stare.
 A cussing Christian I confess therefore I am but in silence I ask that God bridle my tongue because in dealing with people I know for a fact they will cause you to go there.  I had to learn that I shouldn’t let people have that much power over me.  I’m not proud of some of my past actions and I really did some things that could have landed me in jail, but thank God for looking out for fools and children. 
            In conclusion, silence is not a sign of weakness but a sign of discipline, so a trusted friend expressed to me.  I appreciate this time that God has allowed me so when I make it to where and what He has destined for me I will represent Him well.  This has been a W.W.J.D. moment brought to you impart of a day in the life of Shana Jay now back to your regularly scheduled programs.
XOXO
Shana Jay

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Just a Thought by Shana Jay

Sometimes I feel like we are our own worse enemies. Meaning we tend to hold ourselves back from what is destined for us to have. Let me touch on this subject for a minute and I will use myself as an example. I always talked about how I desired to have a good man but when he came around I didn’t know how to treat him because I was so use to being treated like garbage.  So I sabotaged the situation by looking for all the negatives in this person.  I wasn’t ready for what I asked for and the outcome was terrible. I ended up hurting him and it’s true that hurt people do really hurt people. If you looked up the term “bag lady” in the ghetto encyclopedia my picture would be right there. I’m honest enough to say this where others would be afraid too.
Next, I have noticed that people are so quick to say they have haters when in actuality they may not be haters at all but people who actually tell you the truth about yourself. Please understand that constructive criticism is a way to help the other person not tear them down. I have encountered a few haters in my lifetime and it was very easy to spot these characters out.   
   I also hear people say how real they are and how they are keeping it 100% but if you are so real then no announcements really need to be made it will show in your actions.  I sit and wonder who the hell came up with that terminology in the first place.  I could be 100% and say that men really do rule the world but pussy has the power to conquer even the strongest man and drive him insane, but that announcement isn’t necessary because it’s already understood. I could walk around here pumping my fist screaming black power and that I am a strong black woman but what for when it’s already understood when you come into my presence.
In conclusion, it’s not too late to evaluate self and tone down some of these over the top keeping it 100% egos.  It’s not too late to start loving your inner self so when the gift (the relationship you desire with a good man or woman) presents itself you will know how to treat him or her. Last but not least please note that it’s okay to be you don’t ever let someone else’s opinion change how you view yourself.  I don’t and this is what sets me apart and I’m cool with that.

XOXO
Shana Jay
www.shanajay.com

Monday, August 1, 2011

Ego Monster: The Big Head by Shana Jay

Ego: An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit
Sorry that I have been incognito for a minute leaving you (my readers) without some deep nourishing thought to saturate your mental. I have been in my bat cave thinking of a master plan and while I was there I ran into several topics that I want to touch on. Today it will be the word “Ego.” I happen to run into a friend of mine who told me about an encounter with another fellow author who is simply on an ego trip. First and foremost just because you write a book doesn’t mean that you take the book fame and try to manipulate the situation to screw.
I do understand there are book groupies out here lurking in search of a meal ticket but no one should use their status for sex I’m just saying. Another problem that I had was the fact that this person made the statement “What?! You don’t know who I am? Google Me.” Really?! Google you and then what? If you were so well known then you wouldn’t have to ask a person to Google you in the first place. Seriously, it’s ok to have confidence I have plenty but you wont catch me telling someone to “Google Me” if anything I  would use this as an opportunity to offer that person a bookmark or visit my website that’s how you build your brand. 
In conclusion, I’m so sick of insecure people hiding behind large egos.  Further more an anonymous author wrote “There is life beyond ego.” The Bible states “Thinking themselves to be wise, they became fools” and in this situation this author clearly made this statement true. At the end of the day “Ego” is a fool, pretending to be ever so wise and haughty and puffed up and is truly nothing.

XOXO
Shana Jay

Monday, July 18, 2011

Date Night Gone Wrong by Shana Jay



A friend of mine called me in utter disgust because she decided to take a chance and get back on the dating scene.  She told me she met this guy at a new spot here in Memphis and because it was a laid back, grown folk’s atmosphere she gave him her number. She told me the conversation over the phone was great and that she couldn’t wait to go out with him.  They made plans to go out and eat at his favorite restaurant which was good since she had never been.
She told me that she liked the fact that he wasn’t cheap by any means and I laughed because most men really are in this day and time. She said the conversation was going well until she mentioned church. He began to go on and on about how preachers are nothing but “Pimps in the Pulpit” and that he doesn’t go to church because of that fact.  She told me how he was open about the fact that he was well established. He was in his final stages of graduating with his Doctorate in Education in a few weeks and how was also planning to open a Charter School.
            While eating he revealed that he was a principal at a well known middle school but that he got into some trouble that landed him in jail and a spot on the news. This was a 2nd red flag but she allowed him to tell his side of the story since he was wiling to share. He talked about how he was divorced and also had a 4 yr old son.  She expressed how the date was still going smooth just a little turbulence now and then.
            After dinner he decided that he wanted her to go out for more drinks then a movie.  He wanted her to drop her car off at his home then they could ride together in his vehicle.  My friend and I are very uncomfortable about getting in cars with men we are just meeting and trying to get to know simply because people are crazy. She told me that he could tell she was uneasy about the whole idea but he pushed the fact that he wouldn’t harm her in any way.
 So she went ahead with his plan got in the car with him and headed to the bar. She said after a few drinks her date (the guy) began to get a little too loose.   The topic of discussion was his ex wife and how she had the cookie cutter mentality in the bedroom. He asked her if she was open minded to different experiences. Now listening to her I was thinking oh wow is this really a first date discussion. She told him that she was open to different things then the question about inviting others into the bedroom surfaced. I just laughed and shook my head.
She said that he also wanted her to know that he was an overall champ when it came down to oral sex.  He also told her that she could lay everything down on the table since he was being so open. She told him that wasn’t appropriate because dating is getting to know someone gradually it’s a process. Frankly you don’t lay all your business out on the table because you really don’t know what type of individual you are dealing in my opinion.
She said he seemed to get agitated that she wasn’t as open as he was. The next venture was to the movies. She said all he wanted to do was fondle and kiss on her and because she wasn’t receptive he got agitated again. He dozed off in the movie at times and lightly snored and smacked his lips in his sleep. She told me that if she had driven her car she would have excused herself and left with without him knowing. When the movie was over he took her back to his place to get her car. Of course he asked her to come up for a night cap and when she declined he got upset again.
In conclusion, it seems that men have no clue about how to date/court anymore. I can only blame the loose desperate women who have just been way to easy. Whatever happened to getting to know a person and going out more than one time without expecting sex or lip and mouth service just because of who you are or what you have?  Let me just get straight to the point it’s really hard to meet a person with substance and standards. Every body seems to want a quick fix rushing the process instead of investigating or try to see if the party involved has any functioning brain cells for that matter.   I just hope this so called dating game gets better because from my experience and others its shot to hell.
XOXO
Shana Jay

Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Stylistics - People Make The World Go Round.

Dear God, Please Deliver Me from People By Shana Jay

“For out of the mouth come forth from the heart” Matthew 15:18

It’s funny how the very thing that you can’t stand in one person could be the very thing (characteristic) that you can’t stand within yourself. I know for a fact that no one is perfect and that everyone has a flaw or two or maybe even three or four.  What I don’t understand is how quickly we choose to point these imperfections out in one another instead of trying to help.
            I do realize some people no matter how hard you try are simply a lost cause. You will have to take the initiative to just lift these lost souls up in prayer and hand them over to the sweet baby Jesus Himself.   Now an issue that I have with people is how quickly we get caught up in gossip or hearsay.  I’ve learned within my 30 years of living that you have to be careful of the information that’s being brought to you. I seek God and ask that He sharpens my spirit of discernment to reveal the motives and intentions of the messenger.
            We have become so thirsty for negativity it’s pathetic. What I will not tolerate, condone, nor give ear to is the slander or cutting down (crucifying) of the next woman or man.  Matthew 18:15-17 states that “If your brother or sister sins against you go point out their fault just between the two of you, if he hears you, you have won him over but if they will not listen take one or two others along so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses if they still refuse to listen tell it to the church and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or tax collector.”
            So basically if you have an issue because someone has offended you then the proper way to handle the situation is to go to them in a private manner it’s not for you to tear them down in return. I can honestly say that I have been more offended by the church (people/folks) than with the commoners (worldly) people in the streets. I think what really bothers me the most is how quickly we set out to destroy each other.
            You have to be very careful of who you “put your mouth on.” I say this because if you are going by hearsay then it doesn’t make the situation valid. I am aware of this there are always three sides to each story mine, yours, and then there is the truth. Time reveals all things and a person can only hide their true selves for so long.  If a person’s character or integrity is in question it will all come out in the wash. 
            In conclusion, the tongue is a powerful thing. Proverbs 18:21 states “Death and life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.  We as people need to learn how to handle offense of others in a more appropriate manner.  People are going to always talk they are going to always form opinions and because opinions are like buttholes you must know everybody has one. It’s our attitudes that will determine if we grow or damage the relationship.  The goal for today is to take Michael Jackson’s advice and look at the man or woman in the mirror. Last but not least be mindful of your words, actions or reactions to certain situations you never know how this will affect the next person.
XOXO
Shana Jay

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Prince - When Doves Cry (SONG OF THE DAY)

Domestic Violence by Shana Jay

Beauty & the Beast

            Everything about him was different so she thought.  The gentleman was all that she thought she needed the provider, the comforter, the comedian, The father figure to the children but indeed she was mistaken.  Why was she such a poor judge of character? All the signs were there but she thought that through love it would heal him from his past.  Beauty was her name she was the epitome of just that.  It was very rare to find someone who was beautiful inside and out.  She always had a way of making the best out of a seemingly bad situation.  Beauty thought that she could save the world when in deed she would have to save herself. 
             The gentleman was delightful at times but when faced with hardship he had no way of controlling his rage.  He would transform into the vicious Beast that would challenge anyone that tried to get close to him.  The gentleman was angry about so many things a broken individual indeed; his life was not all sunshine and rainbows.  The gentleman spoke of betrayal and deceit.  He talked of never being able to really trust anyone.  Beauty would comfort him she thought in her mind that she was the only that could protect him from such devastation.  When the Beast would come out she was the only one who could calm him. 
            The Beast would cry out, Beauty would tend to the Beast like a shepherd to his sheep.  Beauty was there to cry with him and help him deal with his struggles.  Beauty would express to him that he was the greatest gist of all in her life.  She would hold him until the Beast was subside.  Beauty’s love for the gentleman was not enough.  Beauty didn’t realize that his hurts were deeper than she imagined.  Eventually as time past The Beast was not easily subdued in anger was so profound that Beauty began to fear for her safety.  The gentleman was now just a figment of her imagination.  The Beast was her reality now and there was no escaping him without loosing her life. 
            Beauty’s future was very clear to her as she began to paint the picture. The picture revealed that indeed she would die.  The Beast would take her and strip her of her pride.  Her graceful smile would be hidden under disfigurement of scraps and bruises.  Sadly Beauty will stay to the end hoping that she would be able to tame the gentleman’s inner beast, but to no avail Beauty will be defeated loving the gentleman more than she herself dying by the rage of his inner Beast.  What Beauty failed to realize is that only the gentleman could save himself he was his own worse enemy. 

Domestic Violence also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, family violence and intimate partner violence is something that I am all to familiar with.  When I googled the word Domestic Violence it listed many forms such as physical aggression (hitting, kicking, biting, shoving, restraining, slapping, throwing objects), or threats thereof: sexual abuse; emotional abuse; controlling or domineering; intimidation etc.  Let me just say that being in a relationship with Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde was a total nightmare.  
The guy I was involved with wanted to control me and for people who know me on a personal level know all to well that will never happen. At times I was afraid to be myself because it seemed to set off his anger.  He would always accuse me of cheating on him which was crazy cause I spent all of my time with him.  If things didn’t go right in his day I would reap the consequences. He always found a way to apologize for putting his hands on me by giving me lavish gifts to makeup for his violent episodes.
When he drank it was like he turned into a totally different person. He was very aggressive and became agitated very easily. I decided enough was enough after he beat me at his home in front of his family. I really thought that I was going to die that night. It was only God that got me out of that situation. Of course he didn’t want things to end so he broke into my house and pulled a gun on my kids and me.  I prayed and asked God to get me out of the situation once again and He did.
In conclusion, domestic violence is very real and I never would have thought that something like that would happen to me. What I learned from that situation is when a person shows you who they really are believe them it can possibly save your life.  This is one of my testimonies that I am comfortable enough to share with you. If you’re in a situation that shows its self to be harmful to you and others around you please call 1-800-799-7233 (Domestic Violence Hotline)
XOXO
Shana Jay

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tamia - You Put A Move On My Heart (U Betta Sang Tamia!)

Feeling Some Kind of Way by Shana Jay


“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your love is more delightful than wine”

I have yet to be sold on “love at first sight” as a matter of fact I don’t believe it’s possible. Now what I do believe in is encountering a soul mate.  I have had all sort of encounters and I possibly need to write a tell all about them (lol). On a serious note it’s an amazing feeling to encounter a person who can relate to you mentally and emotionally.  Have you ever had someone to come along and change your views on love? I have. I was totally done with love because I felt that love had made a fool of me one to many times.  Love left me feeling abandoned, confused and down right bitter. There would be times that I would cry rivers upon rivers forming a sea of hurt. I really thought love was my enemy.  The reality of my situation was that I shared my love with the wrong people who were undeserving of what I had to offer. I also was searching for love in the wrong places.
In order to understand what love is I researched the bible and this is what I found “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” The men that I desired love from couldn’t give this to me because they were selfish. Then I also realized that if a man doesn’t have a relationship and love for God then how can he possibly love me? What I have learned is that God has someone for everyone we were not made/created to be alone. So when I encountered this person I was truly out done. He is a great friend, confidant and loves God more than life itself. I personally thought I was damaged goods but that is not a true statement. The bad relationships were actually learning experiences and God knew that I had to go through them in order to be the vessel He desires me to be in this walk.
In conclusion, what I appreciate is that God loves me so much that he allowed this person to come into my life to be my healer. He is showing me that all men aren’t dogs, romance isn’t dead, and last but not least there are men out here with integrity. If this can happen for me, if I can change my mind about opening up and considering loving again then God can do this for you too. Just remember everything happens on HIS time not yours.
XOXO                                                                                           
Shana Jay


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Sexy by Shana Jay


Sexy is an adjective described as being sexually attractive or exciting. Did you know its not hard being sexy? Its fun to encounter someone with great sex appeal. Being sexy to me is when a man can make love to my mind. Meaning he can masturbate, stimulate and massage my mental capacity. He can cause another brain cell to grow. Sexy to me is when a man can correct me out of love not trying to control me.
            Not pushing his weight around constantly sticking his chest out proclaiming “I am Man Hear Me Roar.” Sexy to me is when a man is in touch with his sensitive side which allows him to engage in my desires. Sexy is when a man can respect me enough to wait …like Jill says I need to know if your crazy lol. But what’s even sexier is when a man loves God and puts Him first above all things!
Now with women we are automatically sexy creatures it oozes from our pours. Some of us haven’t tapped into being sexy so let me help you all bring sexy back. It’s ok to be natural!! Tons of makeup will not enhance your natural beauty it will only cover up what’s already there. A friend of mine told me that when he comes into contact with a woman with lots of makeup piled on he quickly becomes afraid that some of her face will be left on his clothing. Then he questions if she is not comfortable with herself meaning “What is she insecure about?”
Sexy is when a woman can not only uphold a beautiful exterior but can also hold an educated conversation. Many men have told me that they have come into contact with women who can not hold a descent conversation. If you’re beautiful and when you open your mouth you sound like a “duh-duh” it can be a total turn off. Being naked is not sexy!!! Did you know that it’s ok to leave some things to the imagination? It’s ok to make a man wonder and personally I get sick of seeing booty meat with black cheeks and breast hanging to your knees.
Something has to click internally and help one to wake up to see that self love is the best love. If you love yourself you wouldn’t exploit yourself in that manner. Then what gets me is when a man treats you the way you are dress (like a slut or whore your presenting yourself to be) then you have the nerve to get upset. Really??!
In conclusion, I embrace my sexiness with open arms. I love every age spot to each individual strand of red hair on my head. I love my illuminating smile down to my hypnotizingly long legs. You say I’m fancy huh? Glad you noticed when I look in the mirror I sing this chorus. I love myself every flaw, every discrepancy these things add to my personality.  I love myself this much is true but if I didn’t tell me how could I possibly love you?    
 
XOXO
Shana Jay

Erykah Badu ft. Rahzel (Roots) - Southern Gul (SONG OF THE DAY..Southern Guls will rock ur world)

Monday, June 20, 2011

Erykah Badu Annie Dont Wear No Panties(SANG ERYKAH!!!!! *GROOVIN*)

A Piece of Mind By Shana Jay


Peace of Mind
Peace of mind is very hard to come by and believe me I speak from experience. I can truly say there is nothing like it and nothing that can compare to this serene experience.  Peace of mind is priceless; it can’t be bought.  I have always desired to be rich but even millionaires encounter problems.  I heard that the more [money] you have the more problems you inherit.
            I still struggle with the situations of life. I have encountered so much peace.  No matter what comes my way, I just think of people who have stumbled upon circumstances that render them helpless and who are in a worse state than me.  I embrace peace as if it were my knight in shining armor.  Don’t get me wrong, I am still human and have human reactions.  However, there is only one thing that matters in my life and that is peace of mind.
            Peace of mind has crowned me and I have become heir to the throne of tranquility. My rights of passage consist of a mindset that calls for God to grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.  I have allowed peace to overtake me.  I have surrendered all of my anxieties, worries and fears which in the end are trivial.
            I longed for peace of mind. It was an insatiable craving like known other. It was like an unquenchable thirst. Once I realized that peace of mind was free to anyone who yearned for it, I seized the moment and never let go.  So if you see me now and wonder what’s so different, it’s called Peace of Mind: my rescuer, my liberator, my redeemer, my all and all.  

It feels great to have a piece of mind. I can honestly say that I struggled with this for a long time.  I could never quite master the art because I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.  For example I was attending a church where I was being fed the word of God by the pounds but that wasn’t the church God had in mind for me and I knew this.  The only reason why I joined was because I was in a relationship *if that what it was* with one of the members. 
He invited me to come and I enjoyed the word and the environment but it was also a way in being closer to him. Things were great for us in the beginning but then I started seeing some things in him and in the church that I didn’t agree with, but I still continued to go.  When he and I fell out it was a lot of tension and it was to the point where I would not come to church at all just so that I wouldn’t have to see his face and he did the same.
 Of course you had to know God was not pleased with this because I allowed this man to take my focus off the real reason that I should have been coming to church in the first place and that’s to serve “HIM.”  The lesson I learned was that it was not in my best interest to have a personal relationship with someone that attended the same church as I did.  
What was really crazy was the fact that it was his home church in the beginning but I thought when things went left field that he should have left not me. (A mess) Let me also say that I got deeply involved with this church and the behind the scenes of the ministry disturbed me as well so I had no peace.  I felt as if God was making things uncomfortable for me so that I could leave so that I could get back on track with his plans for me. I didn’t consult God in my decision to join this man’s church I just did it out of convenience.  
Another issue that I had that brought me mental frustration was my job. I can honestly say that I found it hard at times to clock in.  I would pray and then I would pray some more. I had plenty of opportunities to leave but I was so comfortable I just made the best of it. God moved in that situation as well and when he did I felt like a weight had been lifted. 
In conclusion, God can make your seemingly comfortable situation uncomfortable if you’re not in His will. Then if you don’t make the move he has provided for you then he will gladly assist in helping you……. in efforts to get you where you need to be rather it is on the job, in relationships, or church. You see I did what I wanted to do because I felt God wasn’t moving quickly enough. I felt that I was in control of my life and that I made the best decision and since I didn’t consult God I was miserable.   When I finally surrendered I realized that everybody has a purpose and a plan.  I know what mine is and this is why I have peace of mind. I am doing what’s best for me and what God wants for me as well……Are you??

XOXO
Shana Jay

Thursday, June 16, 2011

A Time to Heal by Shana Jay



“Time heals all wounds”

 I can remember a dear friend telling me over and over again that I needed to get somewhere and heal. She said I didn't need to hurt anyone else’s son (lol). When I think back on the conversation she was exactly right. You see I had been in relationship after relationship not giving myself the time that I needed to heal mentally, physically and emotionally. I would jump out of one relationship directly into another one because I hated being alone. Moreover, in my times of being alone I would be forced to deal with my issues and I wasn't ready for all that.  
So therefore I would always be out doing something. I, Shana Jay, threw myself deep into my work, and into my writings. I made sure that I kept busy so that I wouldn’t have to think about what I really needed to be dealing with. Now eventually this got played out and loneliness finally caught up with me and believe me it was not a pretty sight. I’m saying all this to say that a lot of the reasons relationships don’t work out is because people try to move on too quickly (past relationships).
There are people who are still hurting, holding anger, resentment and regret in their hearts (I’m guilty) so instead of going through the healing process they find someone or something to pacify them for the moment hoping that whatever it is will help them forget about their past. That never works.
In conclusion, I am in the process of getting to know “Shana” and being ok with who she is. I am taking time out to get a better relationship with God and heal my wounds so therefore when that time comes I wont be the bag lady that Erykah Badu sings about. Nobody should pay for the last person’s mistakes. It’s not fair to you or to them.
XOXO
Shana Jay