Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Timothy Bloom - 'Til The End Of Time (Edited) ft. V

Anthony David "4Evermore" feat. Algebra & Phonte Official Video

The Fact Is …I Need You by Shana Jay


Jill Scott wrote a song entitled The Fact is I need you the lyrics can be read below:


I can pay my own light bill baby
Pump my own gas in my own car
I can buy my own shoe collection
I've been blessed thus far
I can kill the spider above my bed
Although it's hard because I'm scared
I can even stain and polyurethane
But some things just don't change
I need you yeah
Sometimes so hard to say oh
I need you
Some things remain
I could buy my own groceries baby
Get my hair tight, my nails right
I can floss my own bling bling
Write the words to the songs I sing
I can even raise the child we'll make
Make sure he's loved and knows what God gave us
I can teach him how to walk and stand
But he needs you to help him be a man
We need you
So hard to say
We need you
Some things don't change
I could be congresswoman
Or a garbage woman or
Police officer, or a carpenter
I could be a doctor and a lawyer and a mother and a good girl
God what you've done to me
Kind of lover I could be
I could be a computer analyst, the Queen with the nappy hair raising her fist
Or I could be much more and a myriad of this
Hot as the summer, sweet as the first kiss
And even though I can do all these things
I need you
And even though I can do all these things
We need you
We need you
We need you
And even though I can do all these things by my damn self
I need you
I do, I do, I do, I do
And even though I can do all these things
I need you
We need you
We do
I was talking to a friend of mine and he talked about how he loved the way Jill expressed that no matter how strong and independent she is or became she still needed someone to make her feel secure. I totally agree and I find myself feeling the same way.  My family on both sides consists of very strong independent women who instilled these same values and characteristics in me.  I was told to depend on myself and God because these are the only two main factors that count. Overall people will let you down but God won’t.

Even though I grew up to be an independent woman I was still lacking. I got married at a young age and even though I’m divorced now it wasn’t entirely his fault. You see a man needs to feel like a man in his home and with me wearing the pants and the skirt in this situation he didn’t fit comfortably in the equation. Yes me, Miss Independent didn’t give him a chance to be a man. When I needed things done I asked him but since patience wasn’t a true virtue of mine I took it upon myself to get the job done quicker. 

See Beyonce sings about women running the world but when we get finished making all the executive decisions, raising babies, getting promoted on the job, learning new languages, being financially strong where does the man fit in? I don’t knock her idea for women empowerment and she is not the only one even Alicia Keys has a song entitled "Superwoman" it has a nice message but when I take my cape off and become Lois Lane I desire to be loved behind my superhero status. 

In conclusion, I need a man to be secure in himself and be the protector he was created to be. I need to no that he can be trusted to hold down the fort. I need to know when times get hard that he won’t play the role of the coward. I need to know that he wont run from a challenge that he will be there even when it doesn’t work out in his favor. My personality is strong and can be intimidating to some but overall I’m an Independent woman and I need love too.

XOXO
Shana Jay aka SuperWoman


ShanaJay©Copyright2011

Monday, May 30, 2011

End of the World by Shana Jay




         “But there were false prophets also among the people even as there shall be false teachers among you.”

So Harold Camping feels as if he has this deep connection with God that he can personally call Him up on the main line and ask Him the official date and time of His coming? Really?! Awww ok then. You see the last time I checked it clearly states in bible Matthew 24:36 that no one knows the day nor the hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven, nor the son, but only the Father.  If God the father didn’t tell His own flesh and blood (the sweet baby Jesus) then what makes this Harold Camping character so special.
Of course we already know that the media loves to entertain foolishness but I didn’t know how thirsty the media circuit was until every headline known to man mentioned this revelation of the end of the world.  Harold said it would end on May 21, 2011 at 6p.m. but he didn’t make it clear as to what time zone his god was referring to.  Now 6p.m. came and went and the same media circuit that posted his predictions was the same people who helped make him the laughing stock of America.
First of all, I don’t need a man to tell me the world is coming to end if one would take the rose colored glasses off and pay attention one would see all kinds of signs and wonders.  The birds falling out of the sky was a dead ringer for me, but of course the scientist had to but their spin on it. They said the birds were victims of blunt force trauma in the air.
*Bambi in Headlights* So you mean to tell me that there is some invisible force field just hanging out in mid air waiting on the birds like a Windex commercial, get outta here and shut the front door.  Seriously what would do you do when it starts raining birds, turn on your windshield wipers and wonder why this event wasn’t in the forecast that day.  That alone would have been a sure sign for me to find the nearest church and lay my all on the altar.
The global warming situation is out of control too. Today was a brief preview of Hell and it isn’t officially summer time yet. Lets not forget about the tragic hurricanes, tsunamis, and earthquakes does Japan ring a bell? The world is in chaos.  In my opinion, Harold has gotten some bad information from the wrong source. As far as I’m concerned it isn’t relevant especially when he had to reschedule the rapture for October 21, 2011.
In conclusion, what we all should be concerned about is making sure our souls are right with God because nobody wants to be left behind when He comes.  My name is Shana Jay and I approve this message.                                                  

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Love Hangover by Shana Jay

“He was my love drug, my narcotic and I was his fiend because he cast a spell on me”

Hello my name is Shana Jay and I am a recovering addict. My story played out like a fairy tale at first. I was so in love with a man (or at least I thought it was love) that I lost myself in the process. I’m sure that if I sat down with many of you we would be able to compare notes rather it be a man or a woman and come to the conclusion that everybody has been a fool in love.
I felt like Diana Ross wrote the song “Love Hangover” based on my life. I felt like she had peeped into the window of my soul cause no matter how this man treated me I didn’t want a cure and I certainly didn’t want a doctor or a preacher.  As I got deeper into the church I learned what I had was not a love hangover it was a soul tie. What is a soul tie? A soul tie is like a linkage in the soul realm between two people. It links their souls together, which can bring fourth either beneficial results or negative results.
This man was so intoxicating and I was his fool in a drunken stupor blinded by lust overlooking his mistreatment.  I diagnosed myself as having the negative side effects of the soul tie which can also be used for the devil's advantage. Soul ties formed from sex outside of marriage causes a person to become defiled.  This is why it is so common for a person to still have 'feelings' towards an ex-lover that they have no right to be attracted to in that way.
 Even 20 years down the road, a person may still think of their first lover... even if he or she is across the country and has their own family, all because of a soul tie! Demonic spirits can also take advantage of ungodly soul ties, and use them to transfer spirits between one person to another.  Now I said all this to bring up a commercial that was very poplar on MTV about STD’s. This couple were about to have sex when everybody they had ever slept with joined them in their bedroom (can you say very awkward moment).
Just think if this man had slept with over 100 women and vice versa how many spirits would be transferred to his sex partner. So basically her nick name would be legion because there were many.  The positive effect of a soul tie: In a godly marriage, God links the two together and the Bible tells us that they become one flesh. As a result of them becoming one flesh, it binds them together and they will cleave onto one another in a unique way. The purpose of this cleaving is to build a very healthy, strong and close relationship between a man and a woman.
In conclusion, I had the sweetest hangover but only for the moment because he wasn’t my husband then we were both two broken vessels who should have healed from past relationships instead of moving on destroying others in the process.  I’m not perfect and I can honestly say that I do love sex it is one of God’s greatest creations but because I was not in His will (marriage) my plans and everything around me failed with this man.

 XOXO

Shana Jay aka “The Perfect Imperfection”

Reference:
http://www.ministeringdeliverance.com/soul_ties.php 

Friday, May 27, 2011

Scandal in the Church by Shana Jay


Scandal by Shana Jay

                           “What’s worse than a wolf in sheep’s clothing? A wolf in shepherd’s clothing”


Bishop Eddie Long has been on the hot topic lately (besides Arnold Schwarzenegger) since he settled out of court on allegations of sexual misconduct.  Four men sued him stating that Bishop Eddie Long coerced them into having sexual relations.  There was a you tube video of one of the young men Jamal Parris who seemed sincere and above all believable about his encounters with the Bishop describing him as a “monster”  Jamal stated Bishop Eddie Long used his power over them as their pastor and “spiritual father” to seduce them.
            He said that he was afraid of loosing the only father figure he knew was constant in his life and this is why he continued his relationship with him.  Everybody got wind of this and went to town on Eddie including me.  I tried my best to be careful in putting my mouth on someone who is a man of the cloth and a member of the clergy due to the backlash. I thought about Elisha and the She-bears. 
If you’re not familiar with the story it can be found in 2 Kings 2:23-24. I never heard the story until a guy I was seeing at the time shared the story with me.  Forty-two little children teased Elisha (who was a man of God) about his bald head. Elisha cursed the little children in the name of the Lord and two she-bears came out the woods and ripped the little children into pieces. I thought it was the funniest story I had ever heard in my life. I didn’t believe it until he called his mother who was an evangelist and she shared the story from a different perspective (in other words she scared me).
 Even though Eddie Long is a Bishop he is also a man first when you look past the titles you have to know he is not perfect.  I don’t condone what he is said to have done but what struck me was the fact that he settled this matter out of court instead of taking it to trial. He never denied anything which was not a good look on him.  I noticed that when allegations arose about Michael Jackson he didn’t settle the case until after his bout in court. This is what led me to believe that maybe Mike didn’t do it.
 I can remember my mom telling me to be mindful of every decision that I made. She said that my decisions/choices not only affected me but everyone around me too.  Prime example Jesse Dodson and the Lester street massacre; you know it’s bad when his own mother disowned him.  Now the events with Bishop Eddie Long and whether he did it or not will forever loom over his head.  
This situation alone has made it even harder for those “Christians” who are in the business of recruiting souls for Jesus. People are already under the impression that the black churches and their leaders are all about money. Now these allegations of having a sexual predator in the pulpit ministering over the church are an even bigger slap in the face. It’s very discouraging when you have finally convinced other people that all pastors are not the same.
 In closing, I as well as others have to watch and be mindful of how we carry ourselves and the decisions we make because there will always be somebody watching.  Here’s a thought:  The trick of the Devil is to temp you into doing things that you know you shouldn’t. When you get caught up he will leave you stranded in your mess. He will feed you to the angry mobsters and firing squad causing chaos in your life. To add insult to injury he will ask the Sweet Baby Jesus on High “Did you see what he/she did?  Ha!! I told you he/she would fail.”

XOXO
Shana Jay 

Can People Change? By Shana Jay


Growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known to the unknown.” 

Can people change is as common question that I sit ask myself as I observe the actions of others.  A lot of the time people desire to change but they have no clue where to even begin the process.  I can remember reading my journal and at the time I was dating this guy who would tell me time and time again that he had changed or he was in the process of changing. He would tell me how he looked at the type of person that he had become and he didn’t like what he saw. The thing is his actions would never line up with his words.
            I noticed that he would change for the moment to get back in good graces with me. Then over time when he saw that he had me back under lock and key he would revert back to his selfish manipulative ways. I went through this vicious cycle for years in hopes that one day the person I saw beyond the “Under Construction” sign would soon blossom from his cocoon of immaturity to the butterfly of potential that he was meant to take flight in.
When I took the time to go back and read my journals it was like watching a bad rerun and it was my fault for not canceling the show. I admit I played a hand in this catastrophe too.  I thought that I could help him assist in his process of change by trying to be an example to him, but that mission failed horribly. It failed because I am not perfect and the only perfect example to live by is God not man.  Only God can change a man’s heart and place the desire in him to want to live as He(God)  intended for him too.

  In conclusion, no matter how hard I loved on this man and supported him as if I were his personal cheerleader it was a useless effort.  If a person doesn’t see his own potential or pursue change then no matter what you do or say to encourage this person will matter.  Studies show that if you help a butterfly out of his cocoon it will die. The only way to strengthen its wings is by beating its wings against the cocoon so it muscles will grow strong. When the butterfly is helped or assisted out of its cocoon it prevents the development needed for survival. Therefore I learned that my actions were hindering his process to grow and mature on his own. The best thing that I did in the situation was to let go and even though it hurt like hell it was the best decision for both of us. I strongly believe the saying “If You Love Something Set It Free If It Comes Back, It Was and Always Will Be Yours. If It Never Returns, It Was Never Yours To Begin With.”
XOXO
Shana Jay    

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Stay In Your Lane By Shana Jay


Stay in your lane: Urban Dictionary answers: mind your own business; keep moving straight ahead and don't veer over into my personal affairs.

Mind your own business: Wikipedia answers: is a common English saying which asks for a respect of other people's privacy. It can mean that a person should stop meddling in what does not concern that person, attend personal affairs of others instead of your own, etc.

This word was in my spirit today and I just wanted share this with my followers. Did you know that if people took the time out to mind their own business the world be a much better place??  1 Thessalonians 4:11 (New International Version) states Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you.   2 Thessalonians 3:11 (God’s Word Translation 1995) We hear that some of you are not living disciplined lives. You're not working, so you go around interfering in other people's lives.   Now if the Sweet Baby Jesus put this word on the mind of Paul and Tim surely it has dwelled somewhere in your heart too. I have observed that some people make it their job to dip and dab in others personal affairs when clearly they need to take time and work on themselves. The Williams Brothers couldn’t have made it clearer when they sang “Sweep around your on front door before you try to sweep around mine.” I’m sure Donald Trump wish that he had taken this advice before he went meddling in affairs that didn’t concern him. What was it to him where Barack was born? I feel that he should have stayed in his lane. What he should be concerned with is that hair brushed to the front that has him looking like a fool. Now I can honestly say that I have asked God to deliver me from people because I let what people do and say bother me. Prime example for me is the “church folk.” For those who have not read my book there is a chapter entitled “My Sensual Heart” in this chapter I give details about my Sexual Appetite and the art of making love. I was shunned and ridiculed for expressing myself in this manner. I was told that my book went against the teachings of our Pastor.   My first was response was “So the Christians not having sex now awwwww ok then.”   I don’t know about them but God made me a sexual being. I can only assume He discontinued sexuality with certain church people.  What the church folks failed to realize was my option to use freedom of speech and the fact that I once was married.  My book consists of one hundred and fifty poems and they went through and chose those two. It bothered me, but someone gave me some great advice. I was told that I can’t please everybody even if I tried; I was told to do what works for me and keeping it moving.

In conclusion, a very wise woman quoted “Don’t let what I do worry you” and this is a word I take to heart. When people get saved they tend to forget where they came from. I haven’t forgotten and I am not proud of everything that I did but I wouldn’t change a thing because I wouldn’t be who I am today. So if what I do, say or write bothers you then guess what, you don’t have to entertain me, that’s your choice. I won’t be the first to ruffle feathers and certainly not the last. My suggestion is “Stay In Your Lane”  The doors of the church are open you can come by letter by number or Christian Experience…..Good evening and Good night. Now run tell that.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

“The Grass Isn't Always Greener On the Other Side” By Shana Jay


Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own. ~ Harold Coffin

ENVY:  A feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.

Envy is a very dangerous emotion that can stir up a whirlwind of trouble if one allows it to. I had someone say that they were envious of me and my accomplishments. This statement rubbed me the wrong way because I don’t want anybody to envy me. What people fail to realize is that all is not what it appears to be especially to the naked eye. In order to understand the saying “The grass is not always greener on the other side” would take level of maturity and life experiences to grasp this concept alone. It’s okay to be happy for a person in their success but never become envious because you don’t know what it took for that person to maintain the lifestyle that you see.  You must know that somewhere in that greener grass there are weeds that come along.  Meaning if you see a person living in a lavishly decorated house/mansion with luxury cars there has to be a huge mortgage and car note to follow. I learned that people seem to live beyond their means attempting to keep up with the Joneses. My question is who are the Joneses and why would you try to compete with these people anyway?

In conclusion, you should learn to be happy and content with what you have and consider yourself blessed. If you are single and all your friends are getting married around you then become a bridesmaid celebrate with them. God will not set you up for failure He has a set plan for all of us. Did you know that if He gave you everything you asked for and you were not ready for it then you would just mess it up? Remember everything is not what it seems some people are hiding behind a mask lost in a masquerade.

XOXO            

Shana Jay

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Goin Steady By Shana Jay



  I love all kinds of music from Rap, R&B, Jazz, Neo Soul etc.  I don’t discriminate, but what I have learned to do is listen to the words. This one song that caught my attention was “Goin Steady By Rocko” So I’m rocking to the beat, but then when I heard the lyrics it truly disturbed me. There are women out here who play the role of the fun girl thinking its cute but in the end they are the ones to get hurt mentally and emotionally. He made it known in his lyrics that he wanted a fun girl no strings attached.  Rocko opens up the song by saying these words:
We ain't goin' steady, we just be fuckin' 'round
Yeah the sex great but damn babe we fuckin' 'round
Girl you got me hot, poppin' up at my spot,
You out yo got damn mind, what the fuck is you thinkin' 'bout?
You've been misinformed, sorry if you read me wrong
I told you what you wanted to hear, sorry if I lead you on
Yeah that pussy good, girl I ain't gon' lie
But if you are lookin' for a dude, girl I ain't yo guy
I'm not gon' come over every day, I'm not gon' talk to you
On the phone all the time, you fuckin' stalker you
Look I ain't tryin' to be rude, but I ain't tryin' to eat your food
I'm gon' keep it funky with you, girl we ain't that cool

[Chorus:]
We just be coolin' it, we ain't goin' steady
Just hit my phone when you wanna play, girl you know I'm ready
We just be fuckin' 'round, girl you know better
You ain't my main squeeze, it ain't like we go together
You just my lil' buddy, we ain't goin' steady
Girl we just be fuckin', we ain't goin' steady
You just my fun girl, and me and you know better
We just be kickin' it, it ain't like we go together



After my divorce I didn’t want a relationship. I was like a caged bird and I wanted to be free. The dating game was fun for a minute but a lot of the men didn’t play by the rules. One guy in particular let me know up front like Rocko did in his song (but in a nicer tone) that we were just friends and nothing more. Foolish and naïve, I thought that I could play this game and not get emotionally attached. I didn’t consult my heart I just took a chance and dived into the deepest of the sea. After all its common knowledge that women are emotional creatures and I truly believe that I am the founder and CEO of emotions when it comes to relationships. At first I was okay with being the fun girl I fulfilled just about all his fantasies and mine too. We were both enjoying the ride but of course over time my feelings changed toward him. I wanted more than the fantasies I wanted the reality. To my dismay his feelings towards me never changed he remained consistent in letting me know that he wasn’t looking for a relationship and that he liked what we had. Long story short I continued in this tangled web until it almost choked the very life out of me.  I couldn’t fault him in the situation it was truly all on me for getting involved with him.  One thing I do know is within a few minutes of interaction a man has already determined what category you will fit in “His Fun Girl” Or “His Potential”.  In conclusion, the toughest lesson that had to be learned was self respect and self love.  I had to learn to love myself and realize I was heading down a dark road of self destruction. God made me special and fashioned me for love and to have that love reciprocated back. He never desired for me to be a “Fun Girl” He desired for me to be a “Virtuous Women.” Moreover “Fun girls” don’t go home to meet their mothers “Virtuous Women” do.

XOXO
Shana Jay

Devil By Shana Jay


“Be sober; be vigilant; because your adversary the Devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking who he may devour.” Peter 5:8

I am a huge M. Night Shyamalan fan especially after my all time favorite movie the 6th sense. Now I must admit that he fell off a little while later but when I saw the preview for the movie “Devil” I was curious enough to give him one last chance. It wasn’t a coincidence that I rented this movie yet a teaching tool that allowed God to prick my heart and it burned.  The story was based on a mother’s bedtime story to her child telling him how the Devil would roam the earth sometimes he would take human form so he could punished the damned on earth before he would claim their souls the ones he chose would be gathered together and be tortured as he hid amongst them pretending to be one of them.
A suicide would pave the way for the Devil’s arrival and it would always end with the deaths of all those trapped. So long story short this police officer who is basically the main character wife and child are killed by a drunk driver and left for dead in a car accident 5 years ago and in the event he became an alcoholic it opens up with him talking to his sponsor about being sober for 6 months he is called to a scene of a suicide which then brings him into the horror of 5 people being trapped in a building elevator people begin to die of course but one of the people is the Devil in human form.
When the last man is standing the Devil tells the man that he has been waiting a long time for him. The man therefore confesses his sins of killing the officer’s wife and child in a hit and run which frees him up from the Devil. The Devil says to him “Damn I wanted you bad maybe next time and vanishes” The officer takes this man into custody and then confesses that he had forgiven the man for killing his family.  Now I cried because I was convicted down to my soul.
 How many times had I done wrong and made majorly bad decisions enough to put me behind bars yet God continued to cover me in my foolishness and then forgave me of my sins! Now why is it so hard for me?? It’s called hurt, pain, resentment etc. You see when someone hurts me it stirs up a rage that is hard to manage. I can hear James Brown “Payback” playing in my head as my superhero theme music. Yet once I got my payback I was still hurt and empty inside cause it was a temporary fix. I had to learn and I’m still in the process of learning how to forgive!! In conclusion this movie was a message to me that if this man can forgive another man for doing something sooooo unforgivable why can’t I forgive others for the little things they do to me?
 So to all my readers I want take responsibility today for my actions and ask that you please forgive me if I have offended or wronged you in anyway and therefore I will continue to ask God to purge and prune me in a way that when he is done I will not be able to allow the Devil to torment me nor hold silly grudges because life is too short to be miserable and bitter.
XOXO
Shana Jay

The Coldest Winter Ever By Shana Jay


2010 was one of the coldest years of my life even when I went through the four seasons of loneliness it seemed that this present winter has been one of the most frigid and record breaking ever.  I wish that there were medications that could heal a bi-polar heart. Just like the winter weather of ups and downs it seemed to express the transitioning stages that I was going through.
 My heart would have the warm and sunny feeling of spring highs in the mid 60’s and 70’s this is when I thought love had finally found me. Then the abrupt lows to below freezing tempts of 19 could define how devastated I was for feeling as if I were an Israelite wondering the wilderness for 40 years. I had the opportunity to be freed from my obscure bondage yet I continued to go into the situation each time expecting a change but still ended back at square one.  It was a comfortable place for me knowing that I didn’t have to pretend yet dangerous because there was no security only pipedream possibilities.
 The season of Insanity is what I labeled my coldest winter ever. Each time I would go back my heart fell deeper and just when I thought things had changed I was rudely awaken by disappointment. “My foolish heart made me fall in love with him I know” would best describe my relationship; I never consulted my heart I just dived in head first without a clue of how to swim. When I finally realized I was drowning it was too late mistakes had been made things had been said and I had no way of being able to take anything back.
 I added another year to my list of being Miss little engine that could too reluctant to surrender my all to God. You see I was born and bred a fighter I was told to never give up on something that I wanted no matter how hard the task so to surrender was a sign of weakness in my eyes.
The coldest winter ever has taken its toll on me but yet I still have hope that my season of spring will melt away the pain. My season to surrender and just be seems to be a difficult task but not impossible. In closing I have realized that everything we go through can’t be blamed on the Devil because we have the will to do what we want to do and we have been given the opportunity to make our own decisions rather good or bad.  It’s now time to learn from our past mistakes consider it as a lesson learned and keep moving forward. There is no need to live in the past especially when we have such a bright future awaiting us. The coldest winter yes this is true but I do not have to remain in this season of uncertainty and make no mistake about it I will love again.

XOXO
Shana Jay  




Unhappily Ever After By Shana Jay

There once was a girl I knew she was deeply saddened within I asked her what could I do to make her world a better place she responded I just want you to love me.  She grew up unhappy hiding the issues of her past the rejection stained her heart like a mural surrounded by stained glass.  She would tell me her secrets of feeling unwanted and being dismissed. As she grew older the little girl still lingered she was damaged her name was anger and rage.
I would see her tiny little head appear if she felt she was being betrayed. It was sad because she would give you her all she was beautiful yet situations made her feel small. She would ask me why don’t they love me I have done all I can it got so bad she was seeking love from any man. She met someone who could relate to her struggle this little boy’s name was broken together they were nothing but trouble.
 They loved each other more than life but because they were not healed from their past every moment that seemed like progress would crumble. She was impatient and he was afraid, she insisted that there is no fear in love yet in fear he remained. Slained by his words of rejection her little heart could only take so much slowly she began to loose sight she lost touch.
Anger and rage came out to play putting a simple complication in disarray.  Poor Little boy broken had to glue together more broken pieces because anger and rage was afraid to let him go.  He didn’t understand what fueled the fire within all he knew was that he loved her but didn’t know where to begin.
In closing hurt people do in fact hurt people and until there is deliverance from God the cycle will never end. So no matter how many times these two damaged lovers connected it would never be a happy ending.  We have to take time to love ourselves then we will be able to love others. If we do not seek self love any relationship that we involve ourselves in will be like throwing a wrecking ball at a glass rainbow it will only shatter.

XOXO

Shana Jay

Exposed by Shana Jay


I see your true colors shining through ……this says so much especially when you apply it to friendships/relationships. I was told that when a person shows you who they are please believe them. The word exposed means to make visible or to reveal guilt or wrongdoing of. Now I could take this subject down so many different avenues but I will just head down exposure lane…….I was having a great discussion with my close friend and we came up the idea that a law should be passed that would require people to wear disclaimers allowing others to be aware of what type of side effects they may cause.
 I laughed at the thought of all the Scarlet Letters being handed out. It’s sad that a person who is broken or not emotionally equipped can infect the next like a common cold. People try to move on without closing the door to past issues and pile it on others like garbage. I met a guy recently who explained to me that he was a horse trainer but in the end the only horses he was training was the horses under the hood of his ford mustang.  When I asked him his age he says twenty-two I told him I prefer older men he responds well maybe you can teach me some things. His disclaimer should have been “Watch out I’m looking for a mama” side effects dysfunctional….the end.  Another guy I met was nice, had a lucrative job, affectionate, pleasing to the eye ..just “The Guy” then I noticed his mannerism it screamed “I like to dip and dab” now I’m not a homophobic by any means but when you see a red flag and have to question a man’s sexuality then you may need to keep it moving. His disclaimer should have been “I like what you like” side effects may cause you to feel like Terry Mcmillian or Star Jones. I have also talked to men who have given me ideas on the types of women they meet. Close friend of mine tells me how he met this chic she was everything that he was looking for in a wife  pretty much “Miss Virtuous Woman” the thing was that she was insecure and controlling.. Questioning him about everything he did not really a trusting individual so of course this only led to heated arguments and a very unhealthy relationship. In the end “Miss Virtuous” was “Miss Jezebel Reincarnate” her disclaimer should have read “Magnum PI private eye” side effects will cause you to be paranoid and always feeling like youre under interrogation. I could go on and on cause there are truly so many different scenarios. In closing you can not change a person they can only change if they desire to do so. No matter how believable he or she may come across please remember actions speak louder than words! Let me reiterate the quote “When a person shows you who they are please believe them.”

XOXO

Shana Jay

Thankful by Shana Jay


Psalm 30:11-12 (NAS) 

Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing; Thou hast loosed my sackcloth and girded me with gladness; That [my] soul may sing praise to Thee, and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to Thee forever.  


I am so thankful because God thought enough of me to wake me up this morning and I can truly say that I am blessed. I made a list of all the things I’m thankful for….. simple things like:

Breath
A job
Lights
Transportation
Food to eat
Great health
Sight
Sanity

My list could go on and on! So many people take things for granted and would rather sulk and have a pity party due to certain situations not turning out the way they thought they should have and yes I am one of those people but then I had to come to an understanding  that God has a plan for all of us. It may not happen the way we would like but I do know that God is working things out for our good. When you pray for things you have to ask God’s will to be done not yours because he knows what’s best for you. I trust him and I know that he has countless blessing in store for you and me. So let’s take time out to just thank God for loving us unconditionally and bestowing his grace and mercy with no restraints. In closing to those who take time to read my post I’m happy and I just wanted to share the wealth with you …lets make it a great day and continue to count our blessings.

XOXO

Shana Jay

Revenge VS Forgiveness By Shana Jay


A friend told me about this movie "Faster" that featured Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson...... I love his look and his acting skills so I was like why the heck not! The plot An ex-convict seeks revenge for his brother's death in this action-packed revenge thriller starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. Ten years ago, Driver (Johnson) was part of a bank heist gone horribly awry. In the chaos of the botched robbery, his brother wound up dead. Now Driver is a free man, and he's determined to punish the men who killed his late sibling. But settling the score won't be easy, because despite being just a few days shy of retirement, a veteran cop (Billy Bob Thornton) isn't about to let a massacre take place on his watch, and a hotshot hitman (Oliver Jackson-Cohen) has Driver locked in his sights. Unfortunately for Driver, the closer he gets to his targets, the more he puts himself at risk. Later, just as Driver starts to think he's gotten everyone on his list, he discovers that one name seems to be missing.  

Now I can honestly say that I am glad that Jesus doesnt answer all my prayers and that He answers them based on His will.....I had to come to a conclusion that Jesus is not my "Hit Man" nor "My Assassion" but I had a list for Him just like the character "Driver" in this movie of people who I felt deserved death even torture. Now there have been sometimes in my life where I have taken it upon myself to seek revenge against those who wronged me. It felt great at the time but it didnt mend my broken heart ...my actions didnt heal the wounds that these people left in my spirit, therefore I was still stuck.

Based on the movie I could relate with Driver and how he wanted to hurt the people who hurt him but in the end even though revenge is sweet ....He still wasnt happy in my opinion. Hatred and Vengence will eat away at your soul and whats even worse while people harbor these feelings the other party has gone on with thier life and have no clue that you are miserable. 

In Conclusion.... you should not let anyone have that much power over you especially if it takes you out of your element. Meaning dont let someone cause you to show out and act a clown when you represent royalty! My Prayer when I am about to loose my patience with His children " FORGIVE THEM FATHER FOR THEY NO NOT WHAT THEY DO" 

The Mischievous Heart By Shana Jay


Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). Things are not always what they seem when it comes to the heart. What I have learned is that if you listen to a person long enough whatever is inside their heart is bound to come out. Whatever is in our heart normally influences the way that we act. Take me for instance I cant hide how I feel cause its written all over my face. If I have an issue with you its guaranteed to show its called wearing my emotions on my sleeve. With that being said whatever is in my heart shows up in any situation. I admire the people who are able to wear the poker face and never show any emotion but even though some people can hide their feelings well overtime it will come out. 

In conclusion we should think positive thoughts ....an anonymous writer says it perfectly "We should always learn to contain positive energy in our hearts. Our mind is the battle field. its only by thinking positive and seeing ourselves great that we can overcome in this world."

Sex Won’t Keep’em by Shana Jay


Common’s song “The Light” was on my mind this morning as I listened to his lyrics “I know the sex ain't gon' keep you, but as my equal it's how I must treat you” He made a valid point sex won’t keep a person in any relationship. There has to be more to a relationship than sex I always make a point to say “masturbate my mental, stimulate it and show me things that I have never seen nor heard. Elevate my mind and show me what life is like through your eyes” For those who feel like they have that bomb, that killa fie million dollar pie or that Mandingo love that was sent from heaven above you may want to take a second look because its more to it than that. Sex will never get old as a matter of fact it’s a beautiful thing but you should set you standard higher than what is between your legs.  

In conclusion, love yourself and the rest will follow. You should want someone who will be by your side when times are good and bad. You should want someone to adore you and treat you like the King or Queen that you are. Never try to manipulate someone with you sex it will get you nowhere. 

Monday, May 23, 2011

Goin Steady by Shana Jay



I love all kinds of music from Rap, R&B, Jazz, Neo Soul etc.  I don’t discriminate, but what I have learned to do is listen to the words. This one song that caught my attention was “Goin Steady By Rocko” So I’m rocking to the beat, but then when I heard the lyrics it truly disturbed me. There are women out here who play the role of the fun girl thinking its cute but in the end they are the ones to get hurt mentally and emotionally. He made it known in his lyrics that he wanted a fun girl no strings attached.  Rocko opens up the song by saying these words:
We ain't goin' steady, we just be fuckin' 'round
Yeah the sex great but damn babe we fuckin' 'round
Girl you got me hot, poppin' up at my spot,
You out yo got damn mind, what the fuck is you thinkin' 'bout?
You've been misinformed, sorry if you read me wrong
I told you what you wanted to hear, sorry if I lead you on
Yeah that pussy good, girl I ain't gon' lie
But if you are lookin' for a dude, girl I ain't yo guy
I'm not gon' come over every day, I'm not gon' talk to you
On the phone all the time, you fuckin' stalker you
Look I ain't tryin' to be rude, but I ain't tryin' to eat your food
I'm gon' keep it funky with you, girl we ain't that cool

[Chorus:]
We just be coolin' it, we ain't goin' steady
Just hit my phone when you wanna play, girl you know I'm ready
We just be fuckin' 'round, girl you know better
You ain't my main squeeze, it ain't like we go together
You just my lil' buddy, we ain't goin' steady
Girl we just be fuckin', we ain't goin' steady
You just my fun girl, and me and you know better
We just be kickin' it, it ain't like we go together



After my divorce I didn’t want a relationship. I was like a caged bird and I wanted to be free. The dating game was fun for a minute but a lot of the men didn’t play by the rules. One guy in particular let me know up front like Rocko did in his song (but in a nicer tone) that we were just friends and nothing more. Foolish and naïve, I thought that I could play this game and not get emotionally attached. I didn’t consult my heart I just took a chance and dived into the deepest of the sea. After all its common knowledge that women are emotional creatures and I truly believe that I am the founder and CEO of emotions when it comes to relationships. At first I was okay with being the fun girl I fulfilled just about all his fantasies and mine too. We were both enjoying the ride but of course over time my feelings changed toward him. I wanted more than the fantasies I wanted the reality. To my dismay his feelings towards me never changed he remained consistent in letting me know that he wasn’t looking for a relationship and that he liked what we had. Long story short I continued in this tangled web until it almost choked the very life out of me.  I couldn’t fault him in the situation it was truly all on me for getting involved with him.  One thing I do know is within a few minutes of interaction a man has already determined what category you will fit in “His Fun Girl” Or “His Potential”.  In conclusion, the toughest lesson that had to be learned was self respect and self love.  I had to learn to love myself and realize I was heading down a dark road of self destruction. God made me special and fashioned me for love and to have that love reciprocated back. He never desired for me to be a “Fun Girl” He desired for me to be a “Virtuous Women.” Moreover “Fun girls” don’t go home to meet their mothers “Virtuous Women” do.

XOXO
Shana Jay

Toxic Relationships by Shana Jay



I must admit I have been in several Toxic Relationships and it’s nothing that I am proud of.   You see what I am learning is that there is no “I” in any relationship it actually takes a joint effort.  I was surfing the internet on this topic and came across a website that gave 25 Ways to Tell if Your Relationship is Toxic…….when I read the list I was convicted I was thinking what is it about me that draws these types of personalities into my circle. When I say “Relationships” one can not be closed minded I am speaking on both male and female relationship, family members, church members, co-workers etc. but today I would like to focus on male/female relationships. I had to narrow down a few key points on the list of 25 that really stood out to me:

Your friends/family doesn’t like your partner or don't think he is good for you.

Whew! Now when your friends and family see something isn’t right with your new chic or new beau then you may want to take sometime and evaluate the situation at hand because obviously they see something in this person that is toxic and will not work for you. I make it a point to bring my new flings around family and friends because I can always count on them to tell me the truth! Its one thing for one person to tell you he or she ain’t it but for a multitude to give you the same reaction is a definite red flag.  Some where deep down inside you know that person is not the one so why waste valuable time and energy when you can direct or channel your love else where to someone who is deserving of your love! I want that 50/50 love not 80/20 enough said.



Your partner tells you he/she loves you but behavior shows otherwise. 

Man this is a good one! He said to me “I love you baby you know I do” but his actions DID NOT reflect this. I was told actions speak louder than words!  If you love a person you should be able to take them at face value understanding that they are not perfect. The Bible has a clear picture to paint in regards to what love is let me help you:
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.
Now if this isn’t clear enough you may want to seek further assistance to get better understanding.  
You cry often or feel depressed over your relationship

I have cried a river, lake and ocean over past relationships believe me. My relationship was so rotten that it was even noticeable on my job cause guess what I was miserable! My wise friend told me if he makes you cry more than smile then you don’t need him you can do bad all by yourself. Your partner should make you happy even though in a perfect world things never go wrong you will always be on cloud infatuation number 9  but in reality things do happen problems will arise but not to a point where a compromise cant solve the matter and make both partners happy. A person should not have that much power over you to ruin your day and make you cry and be depressed you have way too much to be thankful for!

Your partner accuses you of cheating and is overly jealous. 

The key word here is “Insecurity” if your partner is insecure then you will be forever on an emotional rollercoaster. Trust me I played both roles of the accuser and the accused and this doesn’t feel good at all. The Green eyed monster was also something that I had to overcome as well. If you are with someone who is frequently accusing you of cheating nine times out of ten you may want to check them. In my opinion it is a sign of guilt. (Now there can be other situations to raise the cheating question because he or she really are cheating but you know the signs way before the questions comes up because you saw the characteristics of whorishness in the individual in the beginning or as time went along) Being a private eye is time consuming and takes a lot of energy if you do not trust your partner then move on the relationship will never work. If you do not have trust in a relationship you have nothing and that advice is free. Being accused of something you are innocent of is hurtful and can cause tension in any relationship so please be wise if you’re insecure/jealous work on yourself before taking someone else through the trials and tribulations of your emotional state it isn’t fair to them or you nor is it healthy!

I want to close by saying no relationship is perfect but you don’t have to tolerate mistreatment from anyone or lower your standards either. Being in a toxic relationship not only affects you but the people around you too. If you are not happy then do what will make you happy. I am learning that it’s okay to be alone rather than living in misery. This note is my opinion and I do understand some may agree to disagree but all I want to promote is healthy living and self-love.

XOXO
Shana Jay