Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Circle in this Ring by Shana Jay

Liberated by his love
Dedicated by the circle in this ring
Loyal to my King
Bound by the vow we made
How I feel about him will never fade
I submit to his words his articulation his diction and therefore I honor his position
He looks at me with such passion and love in his eyes
Elated that his past hurts were not the event of our demise
He begin to see that our love was his destiny
I pulled him in close to me when he desired to pull away
With my soul I cleave I walk tall in the promise I made
Love and to hold
Always confident and bold
Consuming every ounce of him
Embracing every part molding him like clay
What was torn down I helped him rebuild
Every secret told I placed it in my heart and concealed
Hand in hand I walk he guides while God leads
Expression No fabrication our love cant be duplicated
So glad the search is over my King
Our love bound by the circle
The circle in this ring

Forfeit by Shana Jay

Typing until these thoughts fall off
Listening to my heart until the beat goes soft
Holding my breath waiting for the fairy tale to end
Building the wall brick by brick meditating to Vivaldi’s violin
Skeptical about what’s unknown to me
Unsure about this strange new territory
Seems I’m being put to the test
Forced to show all of my weaknesses and my emotions are about to crest
I can’t quite digest this dose of medication that’s being administered to me
Sugar coating this bittersweet substance makes my stomach queasy
The valley of distance is persistent maybe I should take heed
Be careful and tread lightly are the words that dance in my head
Premeditated is not the ending I contemplated yet patience is the penalty
I see more than I speak of sometimes its better this way
I discern what isn’t visible to the naked eye revealing the master of disguise
 Anxiety builds quiet as a mouse recanting my appeal
Not really sure of what I believe to be true
Time reveals the concern as the four seasons build an unbearable weight
I sit back keeping track of what’s fiction and fact giving my heart time to deliberate
My mind operates on levels I can’t explain
I turn it over to God the controller of my domain
Not afraid to take risk just leery of the aftermath
Not sure if rekindling is the right path
I dig deep in my love language leaving signs along the way
My mind says you can do this
My heart says sorry I’m not ready Im afraid I don’t want to play 

Moonlight Sonata *THIS IS WHAT I WRITE 2*

Bi-Curious By Shana Jay & Co-Writer Joyce

Lets talk about being Bi-sexual. I have noticed that some people are struggling with their sexuality. On a personal note I don’t have a problem with the person per say I love them all with the love of God but I do have a problem with the lifestyle. It may sound cliché to say “I have friends who practice in homosexuality/lesbianism but I look at the heart….this is what makes me love them most.” The true problem that I have is if one is willing to part take in the lifestyle be true to who you are therefore I can acquire a level of respect for you.  I know there are people in the gay community who really don’t want to be gay/bi-sexual and they are trying very hard to walk a straight line. There are others who just enjoy what they do and I’m not mad…. do you. The problem I have is how can one proclaim to be Bi-sexual? Somewhere down the line, someone is going to fall short in the relationship. Let me go deeper ….one “sex” is going to be lacking in an area of attention because it seems that the pull will either be more towards “female” or “male” whatever the preference may be. I feel this Bi-sexual status is a cop out for just being plain selfish and greedy. Meaning, “You want your cake and ice cream then you want to eat it too” or “you just want the best of both worlds.”  If you like men then be with a man if you like women then be with a woman. It’s already hard enough in the dating game to find descent upstanding people to be considered eligible but to add the “Bi-sexual Factor” in the mix is scary. I say this because some people who practice in this lifestyle are not always on the up and up about what they like. They choose to keep this hidden because they don’t want the backlash of being criticized about how they are living. I have also found this particular lifestyle common in the church community as well. On a spiritual note God finds this lifestyle an abomination. I also understand that there are no levels of sin so I can’t cast judgment either. I know that fornication, telling lies, gambling etc are all on the same level so I can’t cast a stone because I am far from innocent in the things that I have done and still doing. Its some things I struggle with on a daily bases so I try very hard not to judge anyone. All I am saying is if your going to live the lifestyle choose a side and quit pretending cause your not fooling anyone but yourself. 
Shana Jay
Is It Easy to Choose Sides?  (Joyce’s Opinion)
     Elijah went before the people and said, "How long will
     you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow
     him; but if Baal is God, follow him." (Kings 18:21)   
It is not my position to pass moral judgment on anyone; I’m just trying to understand. Contrary to what I believed, there are NO limits set as to how attracted a bisexual person has to feel towards either gender and most actually DON’T feel equally attracted to both genders. According to research and interviews, there aren’t really any 50/50 bi-sexuals.
Now I’m sure all of you are asking, “What does Kings 18:21 have to do with bi-sexuality?” The answer is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I am not comparing bisexuality to what God you choose to serve, nor am I suggesting that bisexuality is wrong, that’s not for me to decide. However, this verse has everything to do with making a choice.  The reason we’re in this forum today is to answer the question; Why not make a choice. Why straddle the fence? Pick a side and join the team.  If in fact most bisexuals aren’t equally attracted to both sexes, why doesn’t one just choose the one they’re most attracted to? It seems simple enough right?
            I asked this question to several people both bi-sexual and heterosexual, and the consensus seemed to be that you may be emotionally attracted to one and more physically attracted to the other. Ok, I can understand that also. But why not find that commonality in one person? Eventually you’ll have to make a choice. You can’t have it both ways because you’ll be cheating someone out of what they truly deserve.
      This is clearly a complex subject and I’m sure we won’t come to any conclusions or find any concrete answers in this blog.  So perhaps bisexuals are greedy, perhaps they’re confused, I don’t know. Can someone help me to understand why you can’t or won’t choose a side?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Can You Love Me By Shana Jay

Can you love me flaws and all
When I show you the real me
The one with discrepancies, insecurities, & characteristics that isn’t so angelic or heavenly?
Can you love me when I make mistakes?
Will you pull me close or will my imperfections be too much for your plate
Can you love me when times get hard?
When I show you my baggage and scars will things begin to fall apart?
Exposed and transparent like the clear shades of spring water
Hiding behind this image of a strong black woman in time will falter
Can you love me when I’m at my weakest point when I don’t have the ability to see positively?
Will you embrace the side that reacts out of fear and anger causing me to act uncontrollably?
Can you love me when I reveal the not-so- good, bad and terribly ugly?
When my self esteem is low will you be there to build me up or will you walk away because the realness of me is too much?
Can you
Can you love
Can you love every
Can you love every part
Can you love every part of

Beyoncé - 1+1 Veryyyyy Interesting Video ........