Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Backstabbers by Shana Jay

“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy”

What is a friend? Per the Webster Dictionary: A person known well to another and regarded with liking, affection, and loyalty; a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts. You have to be very careful to whom you label as a friend because everyone you meet may not fall into that category.  I have a limited semi circle of friends that includes men and women. These people have known me since childhood and they love me wholeheartedly only wanting the best for me. My friends are loyal to me as well I am to them. I can count on them to tell me the truth even when it hurts. My friends don’t always agree with my actions and I am very leery of people who do.
            My mother made a strong statement she advised me to be careful of whose lap I laid my head in and tell my secrets to. She was referring to the story of Samson and Delilah. Samson was in love with Delilah and he loved her so much that he shared the secret of his strength with her only to be betrayed. While Samson slept with his head in Delilah’s lap she had his head shaved. Basically Delilah betrayed his trust and sold him out just like most people in this day and age do.
            Judas betrayed his friendship and sealed it with a kiss while he sold Jesus out over money. Loyalty and trust play a major role in my life and if I can’t trust you then how can we build a secure relationship or a friendship for that matter. You see I cut people off very quickly if this comes into question. I had a friend that talked about all her other friends behind their backs. This was a major red flag to me because if you talk about them to me what are you saying about me when I’m not around?
            This guy I knew would tell me that his ex was a stalker and she was crazy. So what was surprising was the fact that he sat next to her (this so-called lunatic) in church service one day and they appeared cool. I called him out and told him he was two faced because he talked about her like a dog to me but turned around and was skinning and grinning in her face. Why would anyone entertain an individual that gave them clues they were not mentally stable? (if that was the case)  Exactly his response *crickets*
            This same guy talked so badly about the men in his circle to a point that I had to ask why he hung around them if they were such terrible people. He couldn’t come up with a convincing answer. See his actions quickly made me question his character and again if he had no loyalty with his friends then what would make me so special. 
In conclusion, everybody that you come into contact with in your life will not be your friend but maybe carry the title of being your acquaintance or associate.  The word “Friend” is a word that shows action and if a person’s words don’t line up with their actions then you may want to consider evaluating your circle. Remember “Friend” is a title that only certain people of value can carry and uphold.

Shana Jay

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