Thursday, September 12, 2013

Surrender to Love By Author Shana Jay

The poster child for love but I’m not sure why you love me
An internal bleeding that no one can see 
I don’t deserve your love I can be so mean and ugly 
This is how I feel 
What was in front of me seemed too real 
Daddy issues my tears have seen so many tissues 
Maybe if I wasn’t so naïve participating in the single life I would be able to better love you 
Confused I hurt myself and I know I hurt you too 
The more I act out is a true sign that love is in need 
An emptiness a void past infidelity has me paranoid
I still wonder why I wasn’t good enough in his eyes
Now years later I have to keep reminding myself that I’m the prize
How can I help you?
My insecurities should be in my rearview
The things I have done are beyond foul
But yet you still love me and capable to hold a conversation with a smile
I don’t understand
Why are you here my dear?
What are you trying to show me?
I’m embarrassed and ashamed
I try to be nonchalant but believe me I’m in pain
My actions have left a residue of guilt
Forgive me if you’re able and equip
Let me also forgive myself
I hate being this vulnerable
Not sure why I do the things that I do
So I just write and leave clues
You have every right to walk away
I would ……not sure why you stay ~SJ

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